Phil sees Dan first thing in the morning, with the pillow crease indented onto his cheek, when his breath smells rank and there’s sleepy crust in his eyes and his voice doesn’t quite work yet.
Phil sees Dan at his most relaxed, dripping wet from a bath with only a towel around his waist. Hair wet and stuck to his forehead, face pink from the heat of the water and the steam, tips of his fingers and toes wrinkled from how long he let himself luxuriate in the tub.
Phil sees Dan at his most frustrated. He sees Dan’s tears and the dark moments and the times when he feels most frustrated and least comfortable in his own skin. He’s been there through the battles Dan’s fought in his own head, unable to guide him anywhere but willing to hold his hand while Dan’s found his own way.
Phil sees Dan at his proudest. Stepping off a stage and out of the spotlight, sweat dripping down his face and an exhilarated, adrenaline boosted smile on his face. He’s seen the Dan that’s accomplished more than he ever thought he could, and after every milestone just starts to look ahead again.
Phil sees Dan at his most open. In bed, hiding nothing, holding nothing back. Baring himself to Phil because Dan’s brave enough to do that, even when Phil struggles with it sometimes himself. Phil has seen Dan love openly and unashamedly and he’s seen Dan lay down barriers firm because Dan wants them there, and they’ll move only when Dan decides they’ll move.
Phil sees Dan at his most distracted, sitting across a table or the sofa from Phil. He knows what Dan looks like lost in concentration, lost in editing work or responding to emails. He’s seen Dan chew on his over chapped lips and tap his fingers across a surface and fidget endlessly.
He sees Dan on the train, looking at his phone with one hand on the rail. He sees Dan dribbling milk from his cereal down onto his t-shirt. He sees Dan across from him in the gaming room two or three times a week, what they present to the world. He sees Dan through the lens of Dan’s own camera as he watches Dan’s videos back, all the ugly moments and misspeaks and outtakes not yet clipped away. He sees Dan in every shape, every form, in all the facets that make a person.
“What do you think?” Dan asks, tipping the phone towards Phil. “These filters look okay?”
Phil looks it over. He recognizes the picture - he is, after all, the person that took it. But he looks long and hard at the version of Dan caught in that moment, head tilted to show off the long line of his neck, fingers curled around the edge of his new jacket, earring subtle but noticeable. This Dan is sexy and smug and confident, showing off. This isn’t the Dan that Phil sees all that often - but this is the Dan that Dan wants the world to see. This is the Dan that Dan wants to be, and he might not be quite as there as the picture implies but when he is… Phil’s ready to love that one too.
Quick draw for the recent Sims 4 instalment oh man oh yep this is my favourite soap opera. Dab is so awkward and adorable I love him and he’s not even real?
